#1- Nightmares aren't all about boogie men anymore...
I've had two intensely horrifying dreams recently. The first developed around me missing a flight out to LA where I was to have a meeting that would inevitably launch my entire career. No such meeting, or flight, exists but I woke up panicked and panting.
The second was about me adopting a three month old baby... and quickly coming to realize that a) I can't afford it (why is Simalac SO expensive?), b) I suddenly had no time for myself and c) I just wasn't ready to be responsible for the likelihood of someone other than myself. I looked on the adoption papers for a return policy, there wasn't one, and I awoke totally freaked out and wondering if there was a crib beside my bed. Luckily, there wasn't.
What do the dreams mean? Who knows ... but I guess me obsessing over the direction of my career vs. starting to turn the gears on creating a family, may have something to do with it.
#2- Christmas just isn't the same...
Guess what I asked for this Christmas season- a digital thermostat (to help cut the cost of my outrageous heating bills) and Crest Premium White Strips ( I want pearly whites!). How boring is that? But, when your 25, killing your credit cards, and running around like a maniac, stopping to figure out what you'd like for a gift is just too time consuming. So, you just think about what would save you money. (Ok, the strips aren't going to save me money, but they'll save me from insecure bouts of faulty dental stains.)
#3- Relationships...
Whether it's the one you share with your parents, or the one you share with a significant other, it doesn't come as easily as it once did under the veil of naivety you once wore. Now you "read" your parents, they are going through their own shit that comes with age and you have to find ways to tipey toe around it. Dating isn't what it was in high school. No one says "want to be my girlfriend/boyfriend?" It's never that simple. You're left to figure out where you stand on your own and no matter how many times you tell yourself to live for the moment, you immediately place a newcomer into the game board that is your life and wonder how they will fit in now and ten years from now.
Where did my childhood go?
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
All in a day's work
I don't DO Mondays.
Sometimes I believe people should just be happy I showed up, let alone think I'll be at all approachable, more like grumpy and disheveled. So, like any other Monday, yesterday was no different. I arrived on my floor a mess, and yapping on my cell phone. My boss and I share something like an executive suite, so there is a waiting room beyond my cube (but it's not a cube b/c I have a huge window behind me- yay!). As I passed the waiting area I did a double take and stopped my conversation mid-sentence. Glenn Close was sitting in one of the two chairs speaking to a man about her something I couldn't comprehend... Fatal Attraction 2? Didn't she die? I must have heard wrong.
I stumbled, said "Good Morning" and walked over to my desk. I asked myself twice if I could still possibly be sleeping, or maybe drunk and hallucinating. I was neither. Glenn Close, Academy Award nominated actress, was sitting 5 feet from me, and I wasn't dreaming it. I acted nonchalant for as long as I could, but finally a production/casting crew rescued me from my own anxiety to jump up and say something to her. She and the crew piled into the conference room connected to my office and I was then approached by one of the members. He was aware I had not known they would be holding a casting session and asked if I thought it would be a problem. "No way!" I smiled, while simultaneously picturing a line of my co-workers forming for autographs.
A few moments later, I was asked by the same guy, we'll call him Mr. T, if there would be any way to have breakfast delivered. "Delivery? No need, I'll get it." I took a bagel and coffee order for 5 (including Ms. Close, thank you very much), and recruited my coworker friend, Beth, to help me out. Beth, like me, constantly has her nose buried in Us Weekly and People magazines, I knew she'd be honored. We ran to the cafeteria and she made the coffees (I suck at that) while I gathered the bagels. I tried my best to wrap the bagels in a way that looked professional, but they ended up in a mess of wax paper. We hustled back upstairs and handed out the order (Glenn said thanks), and left the conference room.
"I just made Glenn Close's coffee," Beth whispered.
I put my hand on her shoulder. "That you did, comrade. And you did it well."
Over the course of the next few hours there were whispers in the hall and people who rarely come to visit me suddenly had so much to talk to me about. I was being used for a glimpse of the action, and I loved it.
I was asked by Mr. T to put up signs near the elevator directing the auditionees toward the conference room. I did so and soon thereafter was approached by an actress that looked familiar, but who I couldn't name. "Is this where the casting is being held?" I told her yes, asked her if she wanted water and invited her to sit in the waiting area. She was a beautiful young woman with dark brown hair and light brown eyes and her name was Carly. We'll leave it at that. She was sweet and spoke of the weird weather we're experiencing in NY. Soon, she was called in and I was once again alone.
Two more actresses followed. One, my personal favorite, had a face that I knew I had seen before, I kept picturing her crying, but couldn't place her. She was the most talkative, telling me about her lunch at the Guggenheim Museum. I wanted to ask her where I knew her from, but feared asking such could embarrass her since I clearly DIDN'T know where I should know her from. She was called into the casting and that's when it hit me. She had played a character on one of the most popular TV shows around, having been killed off at the end of the 2nd season (I think). She played her character SO well that when she exited the casting I had to let her know.
I pipped up and said, "By the way, I died when you cried on ____".
She smiled at me. "You died? No way!"
We laughed together. Why do I do that? 25 years of speaking and I still don't have it down pact. Jesus.
The third actress sounded British and was named Rose, so sweet and down to earth as well, but I didn't get to talk to her much. At that point I was too caught up running errands for the casting team which now included several of our LA coworkers who had flown in as part of the entourage.
By six p.m. I was exhausted having had to work for both my boss and the casting team. Not that I was complaining, this is the type of work I enjoy, but a stiff drink at the end of the day would have been welcomed.
"You made some new friends," my boss smiled at me.
"Ya think?"
This morning I jumped on the elevator, became quickly aware of 3 large men standing in a semi-circle around a much smaller person. I glanced over and recognized the small person as Bow Wow. He smiled, I smiled. Round two at helping celebrities for a day?
Nah! I left the elevator and dashed for my office.
Sometimes I believe people should just be happy I showed up, let alone think I'll be at all approachable, more like grumpy and disheveled. So, like any other Monday, yesterday was no different. I arrived on my floor a mess, and yapping on my cell phone. My boss and I share something like an executive suite, so there is a waiting room beyond my cube (but it's not a cube b/c I have a huge window behind me- yay!). As I passed the waiting area I did a double take and stopped my conversation mid-sentence. Glenn Close was sitting in one of the two chairs speaking to a man about her something I couldn't comprehend... Fatal Attraction 2? Didn't she die? I must have heard wrong.
I stumbled, said "Good Morning" and walked over to my desk. I asked myself twice if I could still possibly be sleeping, or maybe drunk and hallucinating. I was neither. Glenn Close, Academy Award nominated actress, was sitting 5 feet from me, and I wasn't dreaming it. I acted nonchalant for as long as I could, but finally a production/casting crew rescued me from my own anxiety to jump up and say something to her. She and the crew piled into the conference room connected to my office and I was then approached by one of the members. He was aware I had not known they would be holding a casting session and asked if I thought it would be a problem. "No way!" I smiled, while simultaneously picturing a line of my co-workers forming for autographs.
A few moments later, I was asked by the same guy, we'll call him Mr. T, if there would be any way to have breakfast delivered. "Delivery? No need, I'll get it." I took a bagel and coffee order for 5 (including Ms. Close, thank you very much), and recruited my coworker friend, Beth, to help me out. Beth, like me, constantly has her nose buried in Us Weekly and People magazines, I knew she'd be honored. We ran to the cafeteria and she made the coffees (I suck at that) while I gathered the bagels. I tried my best to wrap the bagels in a way that looked professional, but they ended up in a mess of wax paper. We hustled back upstairs and handed out the order (Glenn said thanks), and left the conference room.
"I just made Glenn Close's coffee," Beth whispered.
I put my hand on her shoulder. "That you did, comrade. And you did it well."
Over the course of the next few hours there were whispers in the hall and people who rarely come to visit me suddenly had so much to talk to me about. I was being used for a glimpse of the action, and I loved it.
I was asked by Mr. T to put up signs near the elevator directing the auditionees toward the conference room. I did so and soon thereafter was approached by an actress that looked familiar, but who I couldn't name. "Is this where the casting is being held?" I told her yes, asked her if she wanted water and invited her to sit in the waiting area. She was a beautiful young woman with dark brown hair and light brown eyes and her name was Carly. We'll leave it at that. She was sweet and spoke of the weird weather we're experiencing in NY. Soon, she was called in and I was once again alone.
Two more actresses followed. One, my personal favorite, had a face that I knew I had seen before, I kept picturing her crying, but couldn't place her. She was the most talkative, telling me about her lunch at the Guggenheim Museum. I wanted to ask her where I knew her from, but feared asking such could embarrass her since I clearly DIDN'T know where I should know her from. She was called into the casting and that's when it hit me. She had played a character on one of the most popular TV shows around, having been killed off at the end of the 2nd season (I think). She played her character SO well that when she exited the casting I had to let her know.
I pipped up and said, "By the way, I died when you cried on ____".
She smiled at me. "You died? No way!"
We laughed together. Why do I do that? 25 years of speaking and I still don't have it down pact. Jesus.
The third actress sounded British and was named Rose, so sweet and down to earth as well, but I didn't get to talk to her much. At that point I was too caught up running errands for the casting team which now included several of our LA coworkers who had flown in as part of the entourage.
By six p.m. I was exhausted having had to work for both my boss and the casting team. Not that I was complaining, this is the type of work I enjoy, but a stiff drink at the end of the day would have been welcomed.
"You made some new friends," my boss smiled at me.
"Ya think?"
This morning I jumped on the elevator, became quickly aware of 3 large men standing in a semi-circle around a much smaller person. I glanced over and recognized the small person as Bow Wow. He smiled, I smiled. Round two at helping celebrities for a day?
Nah! I left the elevator and dashed for my office.
Saturday, December 02, 2006
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